The Favor by Nicci French

Author:Nicci French
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2022-08-02T00:00:00+00:00

Thirty-Six

That evening, Jude went out with a group of friends. It was the first time since her life had unraveled so publicly, the first time since she had separated from Nat, and she felt horribly anxious and vulnerable. But she knew that the longer she waited, the harder it would be, and so she showered and washed her hair, put on nice clothes, sprayed perfume and held her head high when she walked smiling into the crowded pub.

They welcomed her in; of course they did. They were her friends, her familiars, the people who she knew best in the world and who would always be on her side whatever she did, however badly she behaved. Everyone hugged her, kissed her, put hands on her arm as they spoke. They bought her drinks, then more drinks, and soon her thoughts blurred and the tight knot of shame and fear loosened. She talked—about Nat, about Liam’s death and being made an executor, about the grim flat and the unfriendly cat, about endings and shame and loneliness. She made it into a joke—a joke against herself. She waved her arms in the air and told them she loved them all. She laughed and, in the middle of laughing, cried. A bit drunk and emotional, she felt she could say anything, anything at all—and yet she didn’t tell them about the crash when she was eighteen. She still had a cordon thrown around that. Only Leila Fox knew.

The following day passed in a blur. She was hungover, dry-mouthed and wrung out and couldn’t bring herself to do anything. She mooched around the flat, drank lots of water, ate a bowl of pasta for supper and went to bed early.

When she woke on Saturday, she was aware of two things: the first was the cat was loudly coughing up a fur ball by the side of her bed. The second was that her mobile was ringing.

She reached out a hand and found it, seeing as she did so that it was nearly ten o’clock.

“Yes?”

She felt as if someone had hit her over the head with a brick. She needed several mugs of tea.

“Jude, it’s Danny.”

“Hello.”

Jude struggled to a sitting position. The cat retched air violently. Maybe it was ill; maybe it was dying, like the plants seemed to be.

“I’d like you to come round.”

“Round to yours?”

“How about midday?”

“I can’t do that,” said Jude.

She could, but Danny’s peremptory tone grated on her.

“What about later?”

“I can probably get to you about three-thirty or four,” said Jude. “If it’s important.”

“That’s great.”

Danny finished the call without saying goodbye or thanking her.

Jude made herself a pot of tea, and then, when she had finished it, a pot of coffee along with two pieces of toast and honey. She fed the cat and tried to stroke it, and she watered the drooping plants; maybe she was over-watering them. She cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed, and then lay in a bath, half-listening to a podcast.

Leila Fox had told her to sort out her own life, not the mess that Liam had left behind, and she was right.

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